A couple of weeks ago, I was in Valencia for a conference, and my friend Timea invited me to share the room with her for some bonus pyjama-party time. 💅
The room was pretty standard at first glance, but then Reader…
We started noticing little touches:
Chocolate on the pillow, air spray, night kits, champagne, different kinds of hands and refreshing foot cream and just a lot of fancy sh*t ✨👀 including a Japanese toilet that honestly would deserve its own newsletter 🚽
Every night when we came back, there’d be something new waiting for us.
Tiny, thoughtful surprises.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, a new kind of chocolate.
Every. Single. Night. 🍫✨
By the third night, we knew the drill.
As we were walking back to our room, I turned to Timea and drooling in anticipation, I asked:
"What kind of chocolate do you think we'll get tonight? 🤤"
We were already imagining it. Manifesting it, even.
We opened the door…
And…
No chocolate.
Silence.
We were heartbroken. 💔
I looked at her and said (half joking, half really not):
“
You see? Expectation is the root of all suffering.
We laughed at our very first world problem.
But also, jokes aside…
How many times do we suffer not for the situation itself, but for the discrepancy between what is and what we thought it should be?
Like:
We wanted A.
We got B.
We don't like it. ❌
And now we’re frustrated, disappointed, betrayed by the universe, and possibly standing in a hotel room screaming into the ether, "Where is my damn truffle?"
EVEN THOUGH we are in a beautiful city, doing what we love, with great company and a room full of fancy sh*t.
Now, if you can change B into A, by all means Reader, do it.
That’s one way to end the suffering.
But sometimes, B is just… B.
Unchangeable. Stubborn. Chocolateless.
Peace comes when we stop trying to wrestle B into being A and instead, accept B for what it is.
I don't mean you have to like or condone B.
Just accept it.
In mindfulness, we call this 'meeting the present moment for what is'.
Does it resonate?
If you’re in the mood to explore this more and how it applies to coaching, here are a few upcoming ways to hang out and go deeper:
