If you've been in this community space for a while Reader, you probably know I like to keep it real.
Partly because I believe real connection lives in real vulnerability.
Partly because I believe that the whole point of having a more joyful life isn’t about fixing our struggles (you might have realised we cannot outrun struggle).
It’s about learning to sit in the mess and feeling every day a tiny bit more comfortable in the uncomfortable 🌊
Sharing my personal chaos with you reminds me, and hopefully you too, that chaos isn’t personal.
It’s just life, lifing. 🛎️
So, deep breath. Here’s mine:
👉 I started dealing with chronic pain 6 years ago.
In 2022, it got a first and a second name: endometriosis & adenomyosis.
(If you're not familiar with this bad gal, it just means that my uterus basically leaks all over the places even where it shouldn't, and it's annoying AF)
A hormonal coil helped manage the symptoms beautifully since the diagnosis (thanks Western medicine I❤️U4E), but I had it removed a few weeks ago.
And the endo felt it:
My endo when she realised the coil was gone
It's not enough discomfort to stop me functioning, most of the time.
But enough to make me constantly cranky.
Enough that I feel myself slipping back into that old “person in pain” identity.
Now, you might not be navigating endometriosis (if you do, high-five, I'd love for you to hit reply and say hi đź‘‹).
But you might know your own version of isolating pain & suffering: physical, emotional, invisible, or otherwise.
If this is the case, here are three gentle things I’ve learned (courtesy of Buddhism) that are helping me navigate it:
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📦 1. Deconstruct the Pain Soup
Pain is hardly only physical symptoms.
Often it is an overwhelming bento box of sensation + terrifying thoughts + spiralling emotions and blablablablabh
So if I zoom in and look at it closely:
I see the raw sensation (whatever it is the thing my human body’s doing)
The story (e.g., "This will never end," "I’m broken", "This is my fault", "I'll end up alone"..)
And the emotions (fear, isolation, frustration, sadness, rage-crying at the laundry)
By seeing them separately and seeing HOW I am seeing them (with compassion? with anger? with resistance?), I can create space and breathe a bit easier.
In this way, I am not drawing in a "pain soup".
Now I am holding a few, more manageable, messy ingredients.
(aka Mindfulness of Emotions, for those of you who remember this from the course)
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✍️ 2. Rewrite Your Pain Story
Pain is very real.
But the narrative we build around it is often very optional.
I catch myself spinning old familiar tales: “What if it ruins everything?”
But now I learned to ask:
“Is this true… or just a really dramatic script my brain wrote at 2am?”
Sometimes, we need to draft a new story.
One where we're not the victim or the villain, just the brave, exhausted, funny human doing her best.
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đź’› 3. Practice Loving Acceptance
This one’s so simple and yet so tough (especially when pain is present).
Acceptance is not "giving up" and letting pain run the show.
For me, it's wrapping my own pain in the same kindness I'd give a friend sobbing on your couch in pyjamas.
Self-compassion could be as simple as putting your hand on your heart and whispering:
“This is hard. And I’m doing okay.”
So wherever you are, Reader, and whatever kind of discomfort you’re carrying right now, physical, emotional, existential, or all of the above, please know:
You are not alone. You are not broken.
This human thing is wild, but we’re in it together.
And hey! If you’re local to London E17, and looking for community, discussions like this one and gentle movement:
✨ I’m teaching a new mindful yoga flow at @Women’s Health Hub every Wednesday from 12–1pm.
I’m really excited about it, it’s soft, slow, and open to all. You’re so welcome.
🌱 What is coming up?
🪷 Starts 09/07
Mindful Yoga Donation-based
@Women Health Hub
High Street (first floor), E17 7LD. 12-1 PM, every Wednesday.
Drop-in, donation-based (£5–£10 suggested). Bring your mat and some water!
This month, our focus is going to be Money Mindset & Mindfulness with the brilliant Brytta Moreira, Sales and Strategy Expert in the Wellness Industry.
P.S. You're reading this because you signed up for a class, workshop, free event, download, or newsletter with me, Maria Chietera, and now you're on the list for my regular letter. I know your time is valuable, and your inbox is packed (same here), so I appreciate you reading this newsletter.
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