That invisible backpack stuffed with “Am I okay?” questions.
Mine usually sounds like an over-caffeinated flatmate who spent the night playing videogames and now refuses to shut up:
Did I say the right thing? Am I wearing the right pants? Do they secretly hate me? Have I done enough today? Should I be drinking more water? Wait… is this mole new?? Am I dying?? Should I Google it? No, do not Google it.
And what do we do with this voice, Reader?
We chase the next “okay” fix:
The next holiday, the compliment, the next certification, we buy another object.
To me, it’s like playing a never-ending game of musical chairs except every time I’m about to sit down, life moves the chair three steps to the left and then someone else sits on my head.
And the music starts again.
Thank you, wold wide web, for the perfect gif
So, here’s the number one takeaway I carry dearly from my 15+ years of mindfulness practice.
The deeply inconvenient truth, ladies, gentlemen, is the “Okay-ness Paradox”:
✨ You have to be okay with not being okay. ✨
That’s it. That’s the whole secret, Reader.
Which, I know, sounds a lot like “just give up.”
Not exactly the motivational fridge magnet we were all hoping for.
This came up in a coaching call recently, and my client gave me a look like, “I want my money back.” 😂
But jokes aside, this is the real game:
Becoming the still point in the never-ending chaos while the musical chairs music plays around you.
Lowering your expectations.
Life doesn't owe you (or anyone else) to be a suffering-free one. (First Buddhist noble truth, remember?)
Suffering exists, and you can handle it.
Mark Twain said
“
It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.”
Okay-ness is already here, now.
Of course, REMEMBERING that is the hard part.
As my teacher Jack Kornfield says, our minds are like puppies, endlessly distracted and obsessed with chasing shiny "if only.." objects.
So, we practice.
We keep returning to presence.
And we find people who remind us to come back when we forget (which is… often).
(Yes, Reader, it is often also for people who practice often.)
Here’s where you can join me in practising over the next few weeks:
🌞 Yoga in Walthamstow (London, E17)
If you’re local to London, here’s what’s coming up this week:
Yoga for Women’s Health: Wed, 12 PM @ Women’s Health Hub, 38 High Street, E17 7LD
Gentle Morning Flow: Sat, 16 Aug, 10:15 AM @ Yonder Community
PS: I have space for one more lunchtime Corporate Yoga client in London starting in September. I would love to help make your lunch break calmer, brighter, and more focused.
This is for experienced coaches who want to go deeper, bringing presence, embodiment, and mindfulness into their sessions.
We’ll explore:
🧠 The inner work of the coach, because we can only meet clients as deeply as we’ve met ourselves 🌱 Working with the “three levels of self”, felt experience, emotional truth, inner observer 📿 Using the present moment experience as data, and not as unshakable truths
If this sounds interesting, hit reply and I’ll send details.
P.S. You're reading this because you signed up for a class, workshop, free event, download, or newsletter with me, Maria Chietera, and now you're on the list for my regular letter. I know your time is valuable, and your inbox is packed (same here), so I appreciate you reading this newsletter.
